That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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