I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
