Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
