Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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