i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The power of my boobs compel you
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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