so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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