Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
