Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
