I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
