Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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