What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
