no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize