She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Enjoy the penises
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
