and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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