I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My ATM looks so different sober.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
