shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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