Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
