a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
