i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
