I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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