Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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