i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize