im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
