What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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