Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize