you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
