I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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