I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize