just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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