some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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