i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
