you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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