a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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