I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
