I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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