Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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