Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
