I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
