he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
