she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize