He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
