Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just blew my weed a kiss
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
