i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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