Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
a search helicopter?!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
