I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think people are normalizing furries
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
