my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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