Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
