He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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