you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
