i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm bleeding and have questions
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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