it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
