Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize