I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
