id be glad to
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
