I hate all girls vehemently.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
