Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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