dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
