he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
