If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
