somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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