she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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