if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize