help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
