Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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