Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
