Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
