He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
