Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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